BrokenEchoes

  When the connection is severed And nothing is left Except the sound of my own breathing I am forced to face reality The reality that I am still a child A lost, lonely, frightened child I am searching for home My home where all my happy thoughts are Where I can be a little less vigilant And breathe a little slower I have never been there But I hope to be soon I don’t know where to go from here I am faced with myriad decisions Which choices will lead me home?

  This ancient monstrosity never sleeps There is always a worn gear to replace A stuck mechanism to oil A stiff crank that needs turning It lumbers creakily crankily along Using up parts, and fuel and people Not knowing the pain it causes.

  I feel like I am pushing myself too hard And I feel like I am not doing enough And I feel these things at the same time.

  I’m on my way, doll I’m on my way Coming down the same road that you went down Stopping only long enough To pick up the things you dropped Then carrying on Cause I’m on my way, doll I’m on my way I made good time at the start I’m making good time now My burden is getting heavier Every mile I travel. But I carry it gladly And walk on happier feet Because I’m on my way, doll I’m on my way.

  There are trapped spirits in the house They can’t get out...they can’t leave Do they see us as we see them? Seldom and blurry In doubles and trebles Like a spot of life in a dark room Do they hear us as murmurs? Do they want our help? Do they want to be freed? Are they content? I would allow possession I would let them overtake me To move through me To talk through me If they would only answer all my questions

  Sitting naked in the mud Rain falling all around Stream-lets carrying the dirt from my body Shivering from the cold biting wind With fog escaping from my mouth Goosebumps standing strong against the cold Hands outstretched to catch the falling magic Facing skyward to accept my fate Drinking up my current life Embracing my surroundings with vigor Breaking no rules, or all of them Making no waves, and rocking no boat Living with enthusiasm While sitting naked in the mud.

  To hear that sound again That sound I need That sound that melts my soul That sound that I have recorded Digitally, inside my brain That sweet musical sound That echoes in my heart That sound that if it were a smell Would linger around flowers And chocolate And a kitchen full of baked things That sound that is so comfortable That it reminds me of a warm bed Surrounded by cold floors in winter That sound that drifts into my ears Entirely too seldom

  The soft bright morning Is muddled By dream interfering cat feet My sheets stretch across me As the kitty steps along my bed I lay still Waiting as he finds A place that is warm and safe He explores slowly and intently Lying her for a second Then moving on Finally he finds current warmth And temporary security He stretches and coils himself He closes his eyes And I close mine And we both sleep Until the morning is finished

  Where I find myself now One of two extremes exists Either time doesn’t flow Or time is all there is Which extreme do I face now? I cannot be certain At least not until I find my way out But to find my way out, I must find myself. He is lost and drifting alone He is somewhere near I can feel it Deep in thought Wandering softly over the dark terrain The ground is moist enough That if I fall i will be cushioned And if i sleep,  Even better. And underneath this canopy Not even sunlight can disturb me. So I walk aimlessly. That isn’t right I have no goal for my feet,  But my mind has a goal to reach As I stumble over the wet land I stumble over memories of who I have been. As I stare blankly at the path ahead I can see in my mind’s eye what I want to become But is there nothing between the two? Who am I  There must be some link. One day, the trees will open And I will walk quickly  From this boggy hell.