Behind the poem - I Have Lived This Life Before

A few weeks ago, I wrote a poem as part of my National Poetry Writers Month challenge. (You can read it here.) The inspiration behind it was a recurring situation I face—something that isn’t my responsibility, something I didn’t initiate, but something that still has the power to impact me emotionally.

It’s a scenario that feels all too familiar. The kind that weighs on you, shifts your mood, and leaves you wondering if things will ever change. For me, it felt like one of those time loop episodes you see in science fiction shows or movies—where the protagonist keeps reliving the same day or moment, but the catch is, they remember the past loops. They can learn, adapt, and choose a different path, right?

But what if that wasn’t the case? What if, no matter how many times you relived it, the outcome stayed the same? What if there was no escape, no alternate choices, and no relief? That was the feeling I tried to capture in the poem—the pain of repetition, the hopelessness of facing the same emotional cycle with no change.

It’s a tough place to be. The truth is, sometimes I have no control over these situations. No matter how much I try, I can’t stop the loops from happening. But there’s one thing I do have control over: how I react. How much weight I allow these situations to have on my heart, my mind, and my mood.

This is what I’m working on—recognizing the triggers, understanding my responses, and learning how to cope with the discomfort. Sometimes it’s about setting a boundary, reminding myself that I can’t change everything, or simply taking a moment to breathe and refocus.

Mental health is health. Recognizing that sometimes there are things outside your control is a crucial part of maintaining it. Even when we can’t resolve every issue, we can still find a way to live with them, to face them, and to move forward. That’s something I’m learning, and it’s something I encourage you to keep in mind too.

As we move through Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to thank you for joining me on this journey of self-reflection. For me, writing—whether through journaling, poetry, or just letting my thoughts flow—has been a powerful form of self-guided therapy. It helps me process my feelings, understand my experiences, and find healing in the words I write. Maybe it could do the same for you.

If you’ve enjoyed my content, and if struggles of navigating mental health resonate with you, consider picking up a copy of Grey Days in the Green Hills. The poems in this collection explore moments of emotional turmoil and the quiet strength needed to move through them—something I hope will speak to anyone going through their own challenges.

Stay strong. Be true to yourself. And remember—your mental health matters.